Lollipop

It was very sweet.

Eating the lollipop i bought for myself, indulging in the sweetness.
Dim light inside the room, only the fans are on.
Lying on the bed, looking at the shadow on the wall. Thinking, how time flies?

Last few months ago, i was a girl who always go out of the house. Yam cha with friends almost every day after class like i'll never get tired from day till night. Now? I rather stay at home and stone than to go out.

My mind was playing back the conversation i had few nights ago with Jasie.
I told him what i felt about the job i've committed to. His reply let me realized that.. Oh, I'm planning to give up! I didn't even notice about that.

He said, he is supporting me and would like to see me achieve something.
My tears fall down to my cheek. Wipe it.

It's the support i needed. Yet, i find it stressful.
Realized, when a person is unwilling to do something, all sorts of excuses will come out and it's powerful enough to stop you from doing everything or anything.

It's not easy to blend into a new environment alone, with unfamiliar faces. You feel that you doesn't belong to them. May it be age, achievements or thinking. Anything.

Feeling very lost. Walking to a new path alone. Can i make it? Am i giving up already? Where is my dream? Where is the things i want to achieve? I'll achieve some day. Not now. Am just lack of the motivation.

If he is going to ask me again the same question, am afraid that i'll probably answer " Don't know/Maybe" It's no longer the same answer "No."


It's not the first nor the second time.
Whenever i am lost, he reminded me things that i've overlooked.
His gentle, is what i am dying for.
His rational, is what i hated sometimes. but there are times that he let me realized that i shall focus back to my own circumstances and love myself more. Although sometimes i may complaint about it but it's still a best way for all. :) Am still pweety in love. I guess :)

I always looked down a couples who choose to give up their own social networks because of their partner. It's simply not worth it. It's gonna end one day anyway. Why give up your friends, entertainments for a passerby in your life?

Life is full of surprises. May it be sweetness or bitterness in life, it's still a treasure.